


An Exercise in Restraint

by samariumwriting



Category: Fire Emblem Series, Fire Emblem: Fuukasetsugetsu | Fire Emblem: Three Houses
Genre: Autistic Felix Hugo Fraldarius, Established Relationship, Fluff, Hurt/Comfort, Multi, Panic Attacks, Post-Canon, Trans Claude von Riegan, Trans Felix Hugo Fraldarius
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-09-26
Updated: 2020-09-26
Packaged: 2021-03-08 00:47:58
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 5,319
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26666938
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/samariumwriting/pseuds/samariumwriting
Summary: Felix has a really, really bad day. Fortunately, when he falls apart, his husbands are there to help him put everything back together.-He breathed in. Breathed out. The fear subsided just a little as he managed to ground himself; the sky was still dark, maybe just before dawn. Dimitri slept to his left, and just beyond him he could hear Claude's steady breathing. They were fine. As his eyes adjusted to the room's light, he could confirm what he should have known all along: there was no blood. No battle.
Relationships: Dimitri Alexandre Blaiddyd/Claude von Riegan, Dimitri Alexandre Blaiddyd/Felix Hugo Fraldarius, Dimitri Alexandre Blaiddyd/Felix Hugo Fraldarius/Claude von Riegan, Felix Hugo Fraldarius/Claude von Riegan
Comments: 9
Kudos: 54





	An Exercise in Restraint

**Author's Note:**

  * For [honeyidareyou](https://archiveofourown.org/users/honeyidareyou/gifts).



> This fic was a commission for @honeyidareyou on twitter, who is a fantastic friend and gave me an equally fantastic premise to work with! I enjoyed writing it a bunch, so I hope you enjoy reading it
> 
> These are minor enough not to go in the tags, but please be aware that this fic features a little bit of gender dysphoria and some implied self harm tendencies! Please take care of yourselves :)

Felix knew from the moment he woke up that the day was going to be a nightmare.

More specifically, he woke  _ up  _ from a nightmare, with blood and battle refusing to fade from his vision as his eyes snapped open, his fingers gripping the sheets.

He breathed in. Breathed out. The fear subsided just a little as he managed to ground himself; the sky was still dark, maybe just before dawn. Dimitri slept to his left, and just beyond him he could hear Claude's steady breathing. They were fine. As his eyes adjusted to the room's light, he could confirm what he should have known all along: there was no blood. No battle.

There was, however, a faint ache building up behind his eyes. His mind clearly hadn’t taken kindly to the force of his sharp awakening, but he knew himself well enough to be sure there would be no more sleep tonight. He knew the faint tremor to his limbs and the racing of his heart in his chest; he may as well just get up.

He tried to be as quiet as possible - it was at least an hour before Claude or Dimitri would wake, and there was no point in either of them losing sleep alongside him. Still, he couldn't help the quiet curse that left his lips when he reached the clothes set out for him just inside their closet.

Well, it wasn't the clothes. More the feeling that rose in his stomach, ugly and tight, when he looked down at himself and went to undress. Apparently was going to be one of those days, where he was  _ still  _ uncomfortable with himself after everything. Still, there was nothing to be done about it - the doubts of ages past wouldn't disappear on command, so he just had to work around them.

Striking a compromise with the feeling that threatened to spread to his chest and throat, Felix pulled on the tighter undershirt and then the loose shirt, forgoing the jacket for now. If he had to wear it, it could come later - hopefully when his mind settled. If it ever would.

When he made his way back into the bedroom, his eyes fell on his husbands again, now silhouetted with faint morning light. Felix breathed in and out, and in again, and out again, and tried not to think about the way the shirt felt against his chest. 

He tried to remember Claude's advice, for when the feeling of his body made him want to claw his way out of his skin. Claude meditated most days, but Felix had never really tried it before. No time like the present; he took a seat on the rug just beyond their bed and closed his eyes. He tried to feel nothing but the air around him, listening to the sounds of the birds waking up and the wind rustling the curtains, but he... couldn't. His jaw still ached from the force of clenching it and the pressure behind his eyes didn't fade.

Felix looked back up at the pair of them, still sleeping, and he felt like a fool. Why was he on the ground, trying to regulate his breathing, when they were right there? They were  _ fine,  _ there was no danger at all, but he couldn't settle the feeling of wrongness that permeated every thought.

He squeezed his eyes shut and shook his head, trying to loosen the thought’s grip on his mind. It didn't work, but the movement cleared his head a little. Maybe the feeling was just excess energy from the night and his troubled awakening. So, even with his head making its protest, Felix stood. If he could just swing a sword for a little, he'd feel better soon enough.

It had worked well enough in the past, anyway. Surely it would work now.

The castle was almost completely quiet, as were the training grounds; he had the whole space to himself, bar a servant who opened a door at one point to dust something. That was all good - the problem was more that Felix had been wrong about it helping. Even though he performed the drills without a hitch, his body felt off. His muscles weren't stiff, but the movements didn't feel smooth either. Each action was meant to flow together, and maybe they did, but it didn't  _ feel  _ that way.

Felix was not getting old. He knew that; he'd barely passed his mid twenties, and there was no  _ reason  _ his body should be slowing down, and yet... a fear crept up his throat. With two exercises left, he abandoned the endeavour. It was only making him feel worse.

When he went to put the light sword away, his bad luck struck once more: finally, someone else was awake and doing their job. That meant that a young squire was in the armoury, replacing a stack of lances. As he did so, and just as Felix made for the exit, he slipped - every weapon in his arms and almost everything on the stand in front of him scattered to the floor.

Felix had not been stabbed. He hadn't been stabbed since the end of the war. But the way his throat seized up, the way his whole body spiked with pain, made him feel as if he had. His limbs locked up, bile rose in his throat, and it was all he could do to spin on his heel and storm out of the training grounds before he shouted at the poor squire.

His steps were hurried, but he knew where he was going. With the sun now a little higher in the sky, Dimitri and Claude would be awake, and that meant they'd worry about his absence. The last thing he needed was two very worried monarchs breathing down his neck when the only thing he wanted to do was curl up and go back to sleep.

Unfortunately, his mere presence couldn't set their minds at ease. From the moment he stepped into the bedroom, Claude pulled himself away from brushing Dimitri's hair and watched him with concerned eyes. "Morning, Felix," he said. "What had you up so early?"

Felix hated that even the welcome sound of his voice was  _ too much  _ right now. It felt like something was crawling inside his ears. "Just some drills," he said, trying not to clench his fists in frustration at how difficult it was to squeeze the words out. He didn't need this right now. It was just Claude and Dimitri.

"Are you sure?" Dimitri asked, and damn it his eye was full of concern too. He hated how easily they worried. "You look tired."

"I've been awake for a while, unlike some people," he grumbled.

Dimitri's frown creased his forehead further, and Felix just wished he could say the right thing to make it all go away. "It's barely dawn," he pointed out.

"Yes," he ground out. This wasn't working; maybe once he got down to business, his mind would sort itself out. "But the sun isn't getting any lower in the sky. If you're satisfied that I'm alive, I'm going to my study."

"Hold on a moment," Claude said, his hand hovering just next to Felix's arm. At least he hadn't touched him - it was hard enough to hold himself together as it was, and he wasn't sure if his feelings would catch on desperately needing  _ something  _ right now or just desperately wanting to be alone. "Have you had any breakfast yet? The servants will be around with something soon, at least stay for that."

Felix frowned. "Not yet," he admitted. "I'll stay." Claude and Dimitri's matching smiles, at least, were worth the effort it took to answer. Felix sat down heavily at the table and managed to keep his thoughts in order until their food arrived.

"And you're sure you're alright?" Dimitri checked again, just as Felix polished off the last of his sausages.

Felix nodded, just about managing to disguise a wince when Claude's cutlery scraped the plate. "Sorry," he said sheepishly, and Felix approximated a sympathetic smile.

"Easily done," he said. It sounded hollow even to him, but after some food he  _ did  _ feel a little more human. Small mercies.

They went their separate ways fairly soon afterwards - Dimitri and Claude off to their various meetings, and Felix to his office. He didn't like all the diplomacy stuff quite as much as the pair of them did, and on a day like today he was glad he'd set those kinds of expectations a long time ago. He would probably snap at the first shitty noble who spoke to him today.

Just as he went to turn off into the corridor that would lead him to his room, Dimitri stopped him. Claude stopped too, a clear sign that something was about to be said that Felix didn't want to hear. Not today, anyway. "Felix," Dimitri said, his voice so soft and gentle. He was always like this. "You know that if you're not doing alright, you should tell us, yes?"

Felix felt a twinge in his chest, but he couldn't quite identify the feeling. He pushed it down; he didn't have time for it when he felt like this. "Yeah, sure," he said, pushing Dimitri's hand away. "I'm fine. You don't have to bother yourself."

"I know," Dimitri said, leaning in to press a kiss to Felix's clenched hand. He shot a look at Claude, who just smiled fondly at him. "Have a good day. We'll see you later."

"Of course," Felix said. "Go take your sappy words to your council meetings. You too, Claude."

Claude tipped back his head and laughed. "I didn't say a thing."

"You didn't need to," he shot back.

He watched them go with that disgusting feeling rising ever more in his chest. He supposed he did this to himself, by falling for them. He just wished he didn't have to do all of this today.

Interacting with the loves of his life was nothing, however, compared to attempting to focus on his work. Felix was fairly certain that his head was going to split in two for most of the day; the words swam on the page, and every time he reached the end of something he realised he hadn't read a thing.

He probably should have swallowed his pride and asked one of them to do a little faith magic on his head. That's what he did for them, when they needed it. But he wasn't one to ask for things like that.

That was probably why Dimitri said what he did before he departed, but it was too late to go back on it now. So Felix frowned and squinted once more at the words in front of him, willing them to make sense at some point. He had a lot to do, as always.

The day passed at an agonising pace, and by the late afternoon Felix had barely managed to get anything done. He still had a huge stack of letters to work his way through, and the amount he'd finished paled in comparison. He looked at it with a rising feeling that maybe he shouldn't have even bothered today.

But it was, as before, too late for that now. He'd made his decision and paid for his mistake, and now only one thing stood between him and the blissful feeling of passing out on his bed was one final meeting. He preferred to avoid them, but there were only so many things the Duke  _ could  _ avoid - as the hour approached, he dragged himself out of his chair and made his way towards the council chamber. He ignored the pain in his head as much as he could and focused on the saving grace; his husbands, waiting there for him.

The sight of them calmed him a little as he settled down in the hard, high-backed chair. His back complained at the prospect of sitting  _ again,  _ but there was nothing he could do about it. He'd just have to wait it out.

Most of the meeting was fine. Felix didn't often have things to say - Claude usually handled the most blatant idiocy quickly - but when he did, it was easy enough to get his point across. Even as the words tangled up in his throat, he knew what to say. "No one in Fraldarius would be amenable to a proposal like that," he snapped. "Unless, Count, that's precisely the problem you wished to slip past us here?"

He fixed his eyes on the Count, who shrank in his seat. Felix sat back, letting a small, satisfied smile form on his face.

That was when he realised that something was wrong. He blinked, waited for the answer, and then it caught him. The pressure in his chest, the invisible hand around his throat. Felix sucked in half a breath and hoped it would subside.

It didn't. The pressure mounted, bringing pain alongside it. The noble replied, but Felix didn't hear the words. Just a buzzing in his ears. He attempted a glare and hoped that, whatever had been said, his reaction was warranted.

He knew what this was, of course. It had happened so many times at even the slightest of provocations. Since the war, it had been much worse, striking at the most inconvenient of times. 

The first time it occurred, he thought he was dying. He'd raced for Claude, knowing that if he'd been poisoned, Dimitri shouldn't be the one to see him die.

After that first time, he'd discussed it in detail with both of them. When it happened again (it was always 'when' and never 'if'), he was to excuse himself from any business he was attending and return to their quarters. As soon as one of them could manage it, Claude or Dimitri - or both, on a rare quiet day - would come to him, and they'd help calm the racing of his heart.

But sat there in the council room, Felix couldn't quite work out how to force the words to excuse himself from his mouth. He felt frozen in place, his hands trembling as he kept a tight grip in his lap. And the noise rose, getting somehow louder and louder as more voices joined the conversation, grating at his ears and blending into a mess that did nothing but  _ hurt,  _ and when he looked up the evening light shone through the window and reflected off the coat of arms straight into his eyes-

Darkness. Felix snapped his right arm up to cover his eyes, wincing at the click in his shoulder as he did so. One piece of the onslaught now cut off, he took a deep, shaky breath, and lowered his arm slowly.

He felt relief wash over him all over again when he discovered that no one had noticed the outburst. No one, that was, except Dimitri and Claude. Their eyes remained fixed on him, the same concerned expressions they'd worn earlier clear on their faces. Felix dropped his gaze to the table in front of him, only raising it once the creeping fear that one of them would interrupt proceedings on his behalf became too much to bear.

'Are you okay?' Dimitri mouthed. The conversation continued, Claude's mouth moving as he addressed the others seated around the table. The rest of them were, thankfully, unaware of everything that was going on around them.

Felix pulled a face in reply; his jaw felt locked shut, and something told him that if he shook his head, people would read it as disagreement to words he couldn't get into his head.

Dimitri nodded, returning his attention to the discussion. Felix kept his head firmly tilted downwards, his eyes closed. It didn't help that much, not with the noise all around him, but at least the sun couldn't get in his eyes anymore. Instead, he listened out for the gentle cadence of Dimitri's voice, knowing that it would grant him a reprieve within minutes.

The noise around him drew to a close. "We will continue after a short break," Dimitri said, and Felix tried and failed to let a little of the tension fall from his shoulders. He shuffled his feet forwards, ready to make a break for it without looking quite as detached from his surroundings as he felt.

As the nobles around him began to move, Felix stood jerkily from his seat. He made for the door, hoping none of them wished to speak to him; he wouldn't be able to hold a conversation like they wanted right now.

The moment he managed to get out, his left hand found the cool stone of the castle wall. He traced his fingers along the side and walked for three paces, trying to calm the nausea in his chest.

"Felix?" Claude's voice was low, soft, and Felix tried not to flinch away from the sound that was all too close to him. He managed. "How are you doing?"

He swallowed and tried to make the words form. He sucked in a painful breath and let it out slowly, but when he opened his mouth only something half strangled and mostly pathetic made its way out. He shook his head once, twice. That would have to be enough. He still couldn’t breathe.

Claude hummed, the tone somehow gentle. "Can I take your arm?" he asked. "We can go to another room for a bit." The thought of anyone touching him, even someone like Claude whose touch was normally  _ welcome,  _ was almost unbearable. Felix shook his head again.

Claude nodded. "Alright," he said. "Just follow me, then." With that, he set off at a brisk pace down the corridor, and Felix followed. He tried not to stumble as he went, but he didn't know if he succeeded; even outside of the council room, everything felt ever so slightly off.

The room was dark, and once Felix was inside, Dimitri closed the door behind him. Finally, the rumbling sounds of the council members faded, and Felix could breathe again. He took slow, steady breaths and sank down onto the floor. The racing of his heart wouldn't calm, not just yet, but he could try. In and out. In and out.

His trembling fingers dug into the fabric of his jacket, and he gripped tighter. Something shifted, and he cracked his eyes open. Dimitri and Claude watched him with wary eyes. "Are you okay, Felix?" Dimitri asked, as if it wasn't obvious that things weren't okay.

But Felix's eyes drifted towards his hands, tightly wrapped around his arms, and he nodded. He opened his mouth, but the words still didn't come. Fuck, he'd really left it too long. He should have bailed much sooner.

As he tried to calm himself more, the seconds ticked by. Neither Dimitri nor Claude said anything, and Felix was glad for it. They just let him sit there, trying to pull himself back to reality.

How long had his mind been spiralling out of control? He didn't know, and he tried not to let it bother him too much, but... he'd made a mistake. He knew that. And now Dimitri was paying for it, Claude was paying for it, and they were all on a break from a meeting that would still be ongoing if he'd just realised sooner that he couldn't handle this.

A sharp pain broke through the ache that filled his body, and Felix's face creased into a frown. He opened his eyes again, not entirely sure when they slid closed, and- oh. He needed to unclench his fists and drag his thoughts very firmly away from anything that would only hurt him more right now. He planted his hands on the smooth stone of the floor and breathed, wrestling his mind back under control.

Mistakes had been made, but he didn't have time to deal with it right now. He could bury it and deal with the more immediate problem: reassuring his husbands. This time, when he opened his mouth, the words fell out. "I'm okay," he said. Lied, really, but both of them knew that.

"Good to hear," Claude said. At some point, he and Dimitri had joined him on the floor; he didn't know whether to laugh at that or not. He didn't know quite why he was even thinking about laughing.

"What would you like to do about the rest of the meeting?" Dimitri asked. His hands reached nervously towards Felix's right, and he didn't turn him away. Now, the warmth of skin against his felt more grounding than anything.

"I'll go back and finish it," he said. It was an effort to force the words from his lips, but he knew there wasn't another option. He was as fine as he could be, now, and that meant he should keep going. "Should be fine." He knew from experience that it would make the pounding behind his eyes worse, but he wanted to finish this. He would not throw the day away at the final hour.

Claude snorted. "Absolutely not," he said. His eyes met Felix's, just for a moment, and Felix felt a stab of  _ something  _ shoot through his gut. Claude looked really worried. "You're definitely going back to our room, and either Dimitri or I will come with you. Whoever doesn't will finish the meeting."

His words were so firm, so sure, that Felix didn't quite have it in him to object. "Alright," he said, moving to stand. "I don't mind." He did mind that they thought he couldn't go back, but he also knew that he probably couldn't. For better or worse, the pair of them cared far more about his well being than their responsibilities as rulers.

Maybe one day, Felix would be able to bring himself to be glad of that, and recognise it for what it was. But right now he could only really feel like he'd failed them. "I'll go with him," Dimitri said. "If you don't mind finishing the meeting, that is. I'm sure you can handle them all just fine."

Claude nodded. "I won't let them get away with a thing," he said, a wicked grin on his face. But when he looked back at Felix, it softened. "I'll be back to your side as soon as I can." Felix tried not to go weak at the knees from the tenderness so clear in his voice.

Dimitri hovered nervously at his side as they made their way back to the bedroom. Their hands remained linked, Felix's left in Dimitri's right, and Dimitri's grip alternated between so tight that his fingers went slightly numb and feather-light. He kept shooting little glances in Felix's direction, as if he'd collapse once more the moment he paid attention to something else.

The terrible feeling only grew in his chest. Dimitri felt like this because of him. Because of all the stupid things he did that day, when really the only thing he should have done was crawl right back into his husbands' arms the moment he woke up. When they approached the bedroom, that was the only thing in his mind beyond pain, but when he looked at the bed...

Frustration at himself, mostly. A feeling that, if he gave up now, he was squandering the useful hours of the day. The revulsion prickled behind his eyes, and he took in a slow, shaky breath when Dimitri watched him once more with concerned eyes, waiting for him to set the agenda for the evening.

"I don't want to go to bed," he decided, glad that even a little of the pressure in his chest eased as he spoke. A little more lifted when Dimitri smiled, tender and understanding as always. Better than Felix deserved.

"Of course," Dimitri replied. Still so kind, almost enough to make him feel sick. As he watched, Dimitri lifted some of the pillows and blankets from the bed, rearranging them on the sofa. "So you can get comfortable," he explained. That was the point at which Felix realised he was staring.

He tore his eyes away. "Thanks," he said. Now the immediate irritant was gone, he felt... off. Wrong. Suspended over a chasm, caught at the edge of a storm. He swayed slightly on his feet, trying to keep his mind fixed in the present. There was nothing  _ wrong  _ now, it was just him and Dimitri, yet he still couldn't get it together.

Dimitri shifted awkwardly. They'd been married for moons now, but there were still moments like this when Felix felt like they were still so far apart. Or maybe just that he still had a long distance to travel. Either way, there was a pathetic look on Dimitri's face, and Felix couldn't bring his eyes up from the floor. "What would you like to do now?" Dimitri asked.

It was Felix's turn to feel awkward. He didn't know what he  _ could  _ do right now; he wanted to make up for the time he'd lost and get back to his work, but knew Dimitri wouldn't accept that. And there wasn't really much at all he could bring himself to do, not with the pounding in his head. "I'll lie down," he decided. "Could I... have some water?"

His throat was dry; raw from something, though he didn't know what. Dimitri nodded, hurrying over to the bathroom to get some. By the time he returned, Felix had managed to half stumble to the sofa, settling down uncomfortably on it. "Drink this," Dimitri said, pressing the glass into his hands. Felix accepted it, throwing most of it back in a single movement. He'd needed that.

Dimitri chuckled, taking the glass once he was done and placing it to the side. "You can have more later if you need," he said. "You just have to ask."

"You don't have to-"

"I want to," he said firmly. There was a note to Dimitri's voice that he only got when he was sure of something; the same way he spoke when he told Felix or Claude that he loved them, or when he told Claude to put his books down at the end of a long day. Felix had long since learned that, in these cases, there was no point in arguing - Dimitri was right.

"Well, if I can ask..." he said, a boldness creeping back into his tone. Dimitri caught his eyes, curiosity plain on his face as Felix fought against his blush. Goddess, he was  _ married  _ to this man, why was this so hard? "Lie down? I'll- lie on top of you."

Dimitri chuckled again, a pink hue rising in his cheeks. "Of course," he said, his face brightening with a smile. He laid down on the sofa almost immediately, stretched out across most of its length. Felix joined him, glad to feel his warmth. With how he felt like floating away, it was... grounding. Soothing. "Do you have a headache?"

Felix nodded, closing his eyes as he settled down properly against Dimitri's chest. This part was familiar; Dimitri's fingers found his hair, and the warmth of them was accompanied by the extra heat of just a spark of faith magic. The edge of the pain eased almost immediately, and Felix relaxed against him. Gone were the days when Dimitri was afraid to touch him tenderly. Felix couldn't be happier for it.

"I hope you're okay," Dimitri said, his hands moving to rub small circles into the back of his head. He kept his voice low, relaxed. It was a wonder Felix hadn't fallen asleep already.

"I'm clearly not," he grumbled, but it sounded weak even to himself. "I'll be fine.”

"I'm glad to hear it," Dimitri said. Felix craned his neck back to look up at him; Dimitri had relaxed a lot since earlier. It helped put some of his more desperate thoughts to rest, at least for now. "And I'm glad you managed to let me know that things were going south before it got any worse."

"That's not-" He hadn't said a thing. Dimitri was the one who'd noticed, the one who checked. Felix lied to him and Claude several times to get to that point; anything that happened was his fault.

"Shh," Dimitri said, his fingers drifting from Felix's hair to take his hands. "I won't hear it. There are many worse things that could have happened today, and you prevented them. I'm allowed to be proud of you for that, aren't I?"

Felix's nerves bristled at that, just for a moment. The mix of something close to patronising and the reminder of his past failure when it happened somewhere truly inconvenient grated, but there was something else too. Dimitri was  _ proud  _ of him. Today, despite its disasters, was a step forward from the past.

"If you want," he said. Dimitri squeezed his hands, and Felix let himself lie back on his chest once more, his eyes closed and his breathing evening out.

-

"The finest pillows the world can offer, and you want to nap on him?" Claude's voice had Felix's eyes darting open. He couldn't quite work out if he'd even fallen asleep - it was later, but he didn't know by how much. Claude's hair looked just a little more knocked out of place and he carried a platter of food.

"What a lovely greeting," Felix said.

Claude laughed. "Right back at you," he said. He placed the tray down and leaned in, capturing Dimitri's lips just above him. "Can I give you a kiss to make up for it? If you're feeling better."

Felix hummed. "Sure," he said. He paused. "Not on the lips, though. Not yet."

Claude nodded, and after a moment, Felix felt the press of his mouth against his forehead. He smiled, just slightly, and when he opened his eyes Claude returned it. "How are you feeling about dinner?" he asked.

Felix's stomach answered for him; it growled, and Dimitri and Claude's laughter filled the room. "I'm starving," he admitted, sitting up and immediately reaching for the tray Claude placed nearby. His jaw still hurt, and there was no way he was touching vegetables after the day he’d just had, but the rest of it disappeared quickly.

Once they'd all finished, Claude caught his eyes with a probing look. Felix knew what came next. "Do you want to talk about what happened today?" he asked. "Just so we can work out how to stop it happening like that again."

They'd long since stopped talking about it never happening again - life, for so many reasons, didn't work that way. But Felix didn't even want to think about the next time right now, not when there was still an ache behind his eyes and a ringing in his ears. "I'd rather it wait," he answered.

"Sure thing," Claude said. "So long as we can discuss it soon, alright?" Felix nodded. It wasn't something he would look forward to, but he also knew that they weren't angry at him for it - even if he felt like they should be.

With that out of the way and the sun rapidly descending through the sky, Felix finally felt ready for bed. Despite the difference in the time of their own awakening, Dimitri and Claude seemed happy to join him. This time, Felix laid in the middle, with Dimitri to his left and Claude to his right. Dimitri curled around him, his arms steady around Felix's waist, and Felix could do nothing but lean into his warmth.

Claude picked up a book and began to read aloud. Felix didn't really listen to the words, just the sound of his voice as it rose and fell. All he wanted to do was close his eyes and leave the day behind him.

Life after everything that happened during the war was hard, sometimes, but there were good things too. Felix was confident that his husbands were the best of that.

**Author's Note:**

> Thank you so much for reading! :) if you enjoyed, leaving a comment is super appreciated (esp as I am Heavily Considering writing more for this ship + setting, and it'd be nice to know if other people are keen to see it happen!)
> 
> I also have a twitter @samariumwriting where I talk a lot about my work and also other things


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